What’s the secret to happiness?
The older I get the more I realize that true happiness only comes from doing for others rather than yourself. I know sounds corny and it’s rather simple philosophy to have. As it turns out it just happens to be true.
When I was a young man It I thought happiness and satisfaction was the thrill of a new sexual conquest. Nothing seemed to more exciting and fulling walking into woman’s bedroom for the first time. It was truly intoxicating. Sometimes I think I remember more about the rooms then I do about the women. The thrill was fleeting sadly. Yes, I was certainly a bit of an ass back then.
When I grew up and placed more value on relationships I concentrated on other goals, Whether it was concentrating financial success or trying to be an exceptional athlete. These goals even when they were perceived to be reached, left me wanting more.
At first, I dismissed this as human nature. Our need to always need to be chasing something. That happiness was not in the achieving goal but rather the pursuit of the goal. Witch, there is certainly truth to. If this, however, was the complete answer it would mean that true happiness and satisfaction were truly elusive. There had to be something more. The answer eluded me.
Then out of the blue, the answer came to me. One early morning after a long night of work I walked into Micky D’s to get some grub, Because, I am lazy and was not about to cook something that morning.
The restaurant had just opened and only the morning regulars were present at the time. Mostly older retired people who come to socialize with each other. They had already had ordered their morning coffee and were already sitting. Except for one who was just at the register ordering her morning senior coffee. Which at the time was 95 cents.
The woman who was in her mid 70’s fumbled through her purse and slowly placing the coins on the counter. I remember how annoyed I felt because I just wanted to get home and eat after such long night of work. So for purely selfish reasons I told the clerk I would pay for her coffee that morning. Of course she insisted that I did not have to do so. In an attempt not to be a complete ass I just laid on the charm, I told her I was just trying to get her number. I can be quite charming when I want to be.
She was so appreciative, repeatedly thanking me. She did it so much it would have been quicker to just to let her pay for her own coffee. Ten minutes later I left the restaurant after answering a thousand questions about myself. Just deserts for being an impatient selfish bastard I thought to myself as headed for my car.
For some reason, for days I keep thinking about it the whole incident. How over the top her reaction was to the whole thing. It was just coffee after all. Cheap bad coffee at that. I was actually talking to myself about it. I could not get over her reaction to it. Then it occurred to me. It just made me feel good that I made her so happy. It was the feeling of being invited into a woman’s bedroom for the first time. It was intoxicating.
This happened over 15 years ago and still, think about to this day. I remember Janice like it was yesterday. I may have started off as being a completely selfish move but the lesson is very clear. True happiness and satisfaction is not found in doing for yourself, but rather for others.
July 9, 2018 @ 5:52 am
I completely agree with you, giving with no expectation of anything in return can create a wonderful feeling of inner satisfaction. Having been the recipient of such a gift when I was young, newly married and very poor I know that such gifts resonant down the years and start a snowball effect of paying it forward.
July 9, 2018 @ 6:04 am
Yeah I agree, I think it happens to everyone we mature as time goes and we experience life its fullest. And as
I rethink there’s a lot of incidents which I would correct it if given chance. But i think we have to grow from learning from this incident, by not repeating it or by correcting your ways .
Thanks for sharing such a nice post.
July 9, 2018 @ 6:21 am
Great story! Loved it. And its true: “True happiness and satisfaction is not found in doing for yourself, but rather for others”. My greatest joy is to do something for my kids and see them happy, their eyes shining with excitement. But doing something simple and small for a stranger on the street and be rewarded with a smile can light my whole day.
July 10, 2018 @ 8:20 am
oh yeah, be kind to one another. Sometimes, we are happy when we receive something, but how about giving and just be grateful. Motivating post 🙂
July 10, 2018 @ 9:24 am
This was a great morning read! I’ve had a similar experience, and happiness is such a funny thing. The things that you think will make you happy usually don’t, and true happiness places that are often unexpected.
July 10, 2018 @ 11:06 am
Agreed, kindness will pay it forward somehow, I got this experience before but different situation, I was just thinking how if I am on that lady situation with little kids waiting around her. Little random act of kindness mean a lot!
July 10, 2018 @ 4:02 pm
Certainly a thought provoking piece to read. While I don’t disagree with you, happiness can be found through putting others first, I think ones happiness ebbs and flows and changes with time. Some things that made me happy in my 20’s certainly would not make me as happy now, however I was still happy. I think its important to find what makes you happy no matter what season in life you are in and enjoy it.
July 10, 2018 @ 6:00 pm
In general I agree with you. But that you realize when you are older,in my opinion. Although, I agree also with Nicole: its important to find what makes you happy no matter what season in life you are in and enjoy it.
July 11, 2018 @ 4:58 am
What a beautiful story to share! Helping others or paying it forward gives a sense of self satisfaction. Just like donating to the needy, makes you feel good that your giving back in the world and to those less unfortunate.
July 11, 2018 @ 5:18 am
Though it requires an upfront investment of time and effort, I do believe That giving to others is its own kind of selfishness. What I mean is not only does it make you feel good to help people, but you know that most likely folks will respond with thanks and/or reciprocation (which is addictive). That’s why I try to begin most encounters with others by giving kindness and compliments, etc. As far as I am concerned, that’s like money in the bank for a future happy life. 👍🏽
July 11, 2018 @ 5:23 am
That is a great philosophy to have. Thank you to you and everybody here that has taken time to Post a reply.
July 11, 2018 @ 12:36 pm
I believe as we mature we are able to see through the “fluff” in life and clearly see the important aspects. Being kind to others always benefits them as well as ourselves. Blessings to you
July 15, 2018 @ 9:24 pm
I Agree, as we age we realized what real happiness is, and it does come from helping others, pay it forward!